


When all the things you are (are mine)

by ithinkiloveyoubetternow



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dorks in Love, Future Fic, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mutual Pining, but also present tense (because flashbacks)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 15:20:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13126431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ithinkiloveyoubetternow/pseuds/ithinkiloveyoubetternow
Summary: He tucked it away in the corners of his mind for safekeeping. These tiny gold flecked moments, fireflies he could conjure up when his thoughts were too foggy and he needed something to bring him home.





	When all the things you are (are mine)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheElectricSpecter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheElectricSpecter/gifts).



> This is the 'Swawesome Santa gift I wrote, I hope you enjoy this!

Derek Malik Nurse has been narrating his life for as long as he can remember. As a young child, he even went as far as to do it out loud. After some concerned teachers called his mom thrice in one week, she gave him an office notepad and told him to draw his thoughts instead. As time went on he discovered a passion for words and he started writing instead. But the idea stuck.

Of course, it wasn't always acceptable to whip out his notebooks. His classmates in the later years at Andover found it particularly annoying when he would whip it out seemingly unprompted, because he felt compelled to document the moment for posterity. Puberty brought on, along with some very unfortunate fashion choices, a love for poetry.

Samwell inspired his most productive period yet. He’ll tell anyone who wants to know that it was the place where he truly grew into his own. He would also like to let you know that he is currently writing all of this down in a freshly gifted notebook from his publisher, as a gift for the initial success of his first novel. He is sitting on a plush cushioned seat on a train from…

Derek's head snaps up. The seat in front of him is suddenly occupied by a very white looking lady, holding what appears to be the world’s angriest cat in a box on her lap. Is that even allowed? It doesn't matter, she has an air of such entitlement surrounding her that not even Jesus himself could probably pry that box from her hands. Derek sighs, and puts his pen away. His writing was nonsense anyway. He had just pulled out his notepad to stop his thoughts from running a mile a minute.

He inhales deeply and pulls out a copy of Young Writers Magazine from his briefcase. It’s a –surprise – writer’s magazine of relative renown. A magazine which now contains the interview he had given two weeks ago at the release of his debut novel. The issue had come out this morning that he had been too chicken to read it yet. But now he has at least a few hours to kill until he reaches his destination, and no other pressing work he can distract himself with.

It isn't like the interview went bad, it just feels strange that he will be able read his own thoughts so unfiltered. This is how the public will see him now. He’s had no hand in the editing process. This is just someone else, presenting him on a platter. He feels suddenly, despite three layers of clothing, very naked. All these years and his first instinct is still to keep himself closed off from the world. But his agent had called him a couple of days ago, sounding very happy with the outcome. So it can't be that bad, right? He takes another deep breath and opens it up.

Derek Nurse is an up-and-coming talent from New York. Bla bla bla… He skips the introductory paragraph and goes straight for the first question. He’s sure there isn't anything in there he couldn’t tell you himself.

_YW: So tell me a little bit about what brought this book on. What inspired you to write it?_

_DN: To know me is to know my past. If you knew what a long time this has been coming, you probably wouldn't believe me. I swear I've been writing some version of this story for what feels like my entire life. I’ve certainly been writing for as long as I could remember.  
I have always loved it. I feel like there's a lot of me in this book. That's probably how a lot of authors feel, especially if it's their first novel. It's a labor of love you know?_

_So yeah, this has been a long time coming. [Nurse chuckles] From my early kindergarten years when I drew stories on my mom's legal pads, to the days at Andover. You know, where my habit of breaking out my notepad to record thoughts or conversations were not as well received as I could have hoped._

_But there were always people who supported me, my parents for one. I had a great group of weird artsy friends in high school. No shade, I was one of them. Of course, I was also a hockey athlete so you couldn't put me in a box so easily. This book has many parts of myself in it. It is in many ways a book about how I grew up._

_Of course, it's fictional, so the parallels aren't always clear cut. I wouldn't want it that way. I would rather keep friendships than try to represent them in a book. I wouldn’t get it right anyway. My friends are too complex._

_YW: Your ‘weird artsy friends’?_

_DN: Sure, some of them are still in my life, as well as a couple of guys from my old hockey team. My most important relationships came after that though. At Samwell [University, Nurse's alma mater, Ed.]. That's where I really came into my own, I feel. As a friend as well as a writer. The SMH [his former hockey team, Ed.] are a group of guys near and dear to my heart. If there's any warmth and closeness in the way my characters interact with each other, they played a big part in putting it there. Whenever I had to call up something to write scenes with an atmosphere of camaraderie or describe the unconditional love Vic and Em have for each other, those were the guys I was thinking of._

Okay. Alright. So far he hasn't come across as a complete douchebag. He thinks. He looks outside the window, at the wintery landscape passing them by at breakneck speed. He’s always loved trains. Nothing but the lull of the tracks and his own thoughts. Something about being in transit allows his mind to wander.

 

* * *

 

The front door slammed shut. A strong gust of wind carried the biting cold inside, alongside everyone's favorite ginger defenseman. Dex's face came into sight. Nursey and Chowder looked up from their position on the couch. They were snuggled into a bunch of Nursey’s fluffy blankets. Chowder pressed pause on their movie.

Dex's cheeks were red from the cold. He shuddered. “Fuck, it's cold outside! I feel like my entire face is about to fall off!” He shrugged off his jacket, pointed at them and quickly added “Don't”, with a Poindexter trademarked exasperated expression on his face. But there was a ghost of a smile playing on his lips so Nursey knew he wasn’t actually mad.

His expression was of course in reaction to Nursey and Chowder’s immediate jukebox-like reflexes. They were already halfway through a very tone-deaf rendition of ‘Baby It's Cold Outside’. Grinning sheepishly at him, they continued to completely ignore him. He sighed as he continued to strip off the soggy, cold outer layer of his clothing.

Dex plopped himself down on the couch, wiggling his butt a bit to get comfortable between C and him. He’d stripped down to just a t-shirt and boxers. His cold limbs pressed into parts of them that hadn’t been completely tucked away in their blanket nest.

“Oof, dude. You're cold!” Chowder complained. “You’re stealing all my warmth.” He pouted.

Dex grinned and stuck his icy hands down their t-shirts.

Nursey yelped. “You weren't kidding when you said it was cold.” He gave Dex a gentle but decisive shove. “Get the fuck off!” He showed his arm, goosebumps had broken out all over his skin.

Chowder picked up another couple of blankets from the floor and draped them over Dex. “Here you go.” He made quick work of tucking Dex into what was essentially a burrito in blanket form. He pointed at them, despite his limited movement Dex continued to try and shove his elbow in Nursey’s ribs. “Now stop fighting you two. We're watching Finding Nemo. Dex, are you joining?” It didn’t sound like a question. Before Dex could even open his mouth fully, he said, “Just so you know, if you're not, you have to give the blankets back and go to your room”.

Dex gladly shut his mouth.

“Didn't think so, so shut up you two so I can concentrate on the glory that is this movie. I always watch it around the holidays with my sisters and I really miss them so.” He paused, enough to quiet the room completely. He added, softly, “Just give me this.” Chowder was pointedly not looking at them.

Dex and Nursey exchanged looks, a wordless conversation passed within seconds. As if practiced, Dex rolled over Chowder – ignoring his protests – so Chow could sit in the middle. They snuggled him from both sides. Silent snuggle attacks, they’re deadly. To bad moods, that is.

When they were settled back in, Nursey looked back over at Dex. As it turned out, he was already looking back at him. They both held the stare for a moment longer, both not really wanting to look away for some reason. A couple of seconds later, Dex smiled and ducked his head.

Nursey turned back to the movie. He wondered if Dex too was thinking about how nice it was that they could have this. Friendship that didn't need words. They just had each other's backs, no questions asked. Like last week, when Nursey’s poetry had received some harsh critiques from his TA and he turned into a thundercloud. Dex had listened to his complaints and then let him sulk in his bed for a few hours. He’d even let Nursey play the music that reminded him most of home – the playlist his mom had sent him his first week at Samwell – while he did homework at his desk. Eventually, through the power Etta James and Ella Fitzgerald, the sun had broken through the clouds and he had quizzed Dex in preparation for his Physics final.

He also thought how nice it was that he could have this kind of casual intimacy. It wasn't like he hadn’t had any friends at Andover, but it had been different. There had been hugs, sure. But it was nothing compared to what he had gotten used to on the daily here at Samwell. There was something about the way his friends never hesitated to touch him. Not just as comfort, but just because they could. His thoughts spiraled, thinking about the constraints of hegemonic masculine bonding until he realized his Gender & Sexuality class was still rolling around in his head. He’d write about it later.

He let himself sink deeper into the cushions. Later, there’d be time for thinking and overthinking. But right now his friends were warm and solid next to him. He let their friendship chase everything else away.

 

* * *

 

_YW: You focus a lot on the development of this relationship in your book and your friends seem really important to you. Do your own relationships shine through in this book for you?_

_DN: Well, I won’t pretend I didn’t at least pull a little bit from my own experiences; but I think it’s safe to say that Victor and Emmanuel’s relationship is unique in its own right. Man, those two don’t give each other a break do they? [laughs]_

_No, but I couldn’t have done this without my friends, for sure. With the risk of sounding like a complete cheeseball, I really draw my strength from them. Wouldn't know where I’d be without them! They keep me grounded._

_You know, I didn't just make Vic a character struggling with depression for shits and giggles. It's something I have been struggling with for years too. And I won't pretend like my friends healed me or anything, but... It's like they have created this space where I'm allowed to feel these things. I'm allowed to be at my absolute worst, and they'll always try to help pull me out of it. But ultimately it's me who has to do the work. It just feels safe, for lack of better word, to know that I'm not alone._

_Oh, there I go breaking my rules about being corny!_

_YW: You don’t like to be corny?_

_DN: I like to pretend I’m not._

 

* * *

 

They weren’t doing anything spectacular. It wasn’t some a grand moment he could tell his grandchildren about later. The frogs were just hanging out in the kitchen, helping Bitty prepare his last Thanksgiving meal in the Haus. They were all laughing, but there was a note of sadness in the air.

It was barely there, but Nursey could hear it. A high, melancholy note he could just pluck right out of the air. If he could just do that, maybe he would be able to make this moment perfect. But maybe he was the only one who could hear it. He was fine-tuned to melancholy’s gloomy melody after all.

He was shaken out of his reverie when all of a sudden he could feel elbows poking him in the ribs. Hard enough to wake him, but gentle enough he could tell it was meant to be friendly. He looked over at Dex, who was looking him over with concern.

“You okay?” he mouthed at him. Dex’s heavy gaze weighed him down, rooting him to the spot.

He nodded, smoothing out his expression out of pure habit. Dex didn't look entirely convinced but seemed content enough to drop it for now. If only he could smooth out the one wrinkle still present on Dex’s otherwise blank face. Press his finger, lightly, just right and make everything alright. It was a subtle reminder that he was still feeling out Nursey’s mood. But it would be like trying to smooth out a ripple in a lake. Pointless, and it would probably get him in trouble.

He couldn’t tell if it was unconscious or not, but Dex stayed a bit closer than he had been previously. His shoulder pressed against Nursey's. A warm, solid reminder that he was there.

Nursey cleared his throat. “This is nice. Kind of sad that this is Bitty’s last year, huh?” He winced, great now he was making everyone else sad too.

The pressure against his shoulder increased. Dex leaned more heavily into it and thumped his head against it. The angle must have been a bit awkward for his neck, but he let it stay there for a few seconds. A more pressing reminder that Nursey was fine.

Chowder's eyes crinkled when he smiled at him from the other side of the counter. “I know! Can you guys believe how fast the time is flying? I feel so lucky that I can spend another one of these with you guys!”

“Yeah. Me too.” Nursey added softly.

Bitty popped the little melancholic bubble that had been building around them for the last couple of minutes, when he came bustling back into the kitchen. Dex lifted his head from his shoulder, but still stayed close.

He started talking a mile a minute, “How's it going guys? Thank y'all so much for agreeing to help! Gosh, I still have so many things to do. How on earth am I going to check everything off my checklist?” He nodded sadly at the clipboard he was holding in his right hand. The other hand was clinging to his phone, which he had presumably just used to call Jack to finalize the guest list. Again.

Chowder put his knife down on the counter gently and rubbed his hands on his pants. That pulled Bitty’s eyes to the gesture, making one of the corners of his mouth turn down slightly. He looked lopsided for a moment. Sad, but almost comical.

“Hey Bitty, how about we look over that list one more time? Maybe we can find some tasks you can delegate? Let's sit down for a second.” Chowder gently lead Bitty to the kitchen table, hand resting on his lower back.

Nursey felt Dex nudge him in the ribs once again. He smiled at him and whispered, “Wanna get some fresh air?”.

“Yeah, let me just get my coat. We'll take a little break, and then we'll come back to enjoy the rest of our Hausgiving yeah?”

Nursey nodded in agreement.

They stepped out to the porch, having put on about 5000 layers of warm clothing earlier. It was damn cold outside, despite the layers Nursey felt chilled to the bone. But it didn’t matter, he felt his mood settle. Neither made a move to get off the porch. Snow was falling down heavily and they’d get wet and cold for no good reason. Nursey moved closer to Dex, huddling for warmth. He noted the parallel with Dex’s earlier gesture.

“So you're really okay?” Dex looked up between his eyelashes. His breath came out in a cloud, reminding Nursey of a dragon.

Nursey smiled. “Yeah, I'm good. Just a little. You know.” He waved at the Haus, as if that explained anything. “The holidays. Makes you want to overthink some stuff. Or, well, makes me overthink anyway.”

Dex leaned even closer, their breaths mingled in the winter air. He looked up once again and a smile slowly overtook his face. “Yeah, I get it.”

He tucked it away in the corners of his mind for safekeeping. These tiny gold flecked moments, fireflies he could conjure up when his thoughts were too foggy and he needed something to bring him home.

 

* * *

 

_YW: Could you tell us a little bit about your writing process?_

_DN: I like to draw from my own experiences. My writing usually starts from a feeling, negative or positive it doesn’t matter. I find that I get the most inspired when my heart is spilling over. I have had plenty of moments in my life when I stayed silent while the words were screaming to get out. That’s usually when I reach for that dreaded notepad. I just need to get those feelings out._

_So that’s where I started with the novel too. There are a lot of positive things in there; the warmth of friendship, whispers in the dark and everything that is not being said. Of course, as I’ve said, there’s also some darker stuff in there. And then there are feeling that I would say are neither bad nor good. You know, those delicate feelings when your life is going one way and really you want it to go into another direction. I like how tentative everything feels when a relationship is on the brink of becoming something ‘other’. Something new._

_YW: You like that?_

_DN: I’m a bit of a masochist when it comes to feelings, yeah. But ultimately, as you’ll see in the book, those feelings are not sustainable. They’re too fragile. It has to move on to something else._

_I hope I can lead the readers through those emotions as well. I want to take them, as cheesy as that sounds, on a journey. With no clear end in sight. Except, perhaps, a feeling of serenity. Security._

 

* * *

 

Chowder and Farmer were out on a date, which made sense since it was Valentine's day. Nursey had decided to stay home. There was no one really on his radar right now and he'd rather not spend his birthday on a first date. He was changing into his sweats when Dex entered their room.

“Oh hi Derek, I thought you'd be out.”

“Oh no, yeah. There weren't any good offers, so. I'm just going to chill in here tonight. That okay?”

Dex furrowed his brows, but he blinked and it was replaced by a smile. “Of course, I'm not going to kick you out of the room on your own birthday. You want me to grab you a piece of that cake Bitty made you earlier? I think I saw some leftover in the fridge earlier.”

He rubbed at his neck, almost nervously. Nursey wasn’t be sure, but he thought he could see a blush creeping around Dex's ears slowly.

“Oh sure man, if you want. I could do it myself or-‘“

“No, no. I was going to grab one for myself anyway so…”

Why were they making this so uncomfortable? Nursey was suddenly determined to clear the air.

“Do you want to-”

“Hey dude if y-”

“Oh, hah. Go ahead.” Dex gestured for him to continue, miming the locking of his mouth.  
Dex was definitely blushing now. He was looking down, his socks seemed very interesting all of a sudden.

“Uhm yeah so, dude if you're going to stay in as well. Maybe we could watch something together? There’s this documentary about Nina Simone’s life I’ve been meaning to see. I was going to watch it by myself but you’re welcome to join.”

“Yup. Uhm. Sounds good.” Dex was still looking at the ground, but he looked up and caught Nursey's eyes when he answered. “I'd really like that.” His gaze bore into Nursey’s eyes. He swallowed, it was hard to look away when Dex was looking at him that intently.

“Okay sounds good. I'll set everything up on my bed then. See you in a sec!”

“Alright, be right back!” Dex darted out of the room.

Nursey thought about how he was acting a bit strange, but he quickly dismissed the thought. That was just how Dex was, honestly.

He put on his coziest sweater and built a warm nest out of the blankets strewn around their room and various pillows. He flicked the switch on the fairy lights he had strategically strung up around the room. Perfect, they'd make a cozy evening out of it.

If he was honest with himself, he was a tad nervous now. This was not really something they just did casually. When they hung out alone, it was usually to make homework or when they were getting ready for bed. Hanging out for the sake of hanging out wasn't something the two of them did exclusively.

It felt strange without Chowder there, or Ollie and Wicks. He worried that the casual way they could interact when others were around wouldn’t work when it was just the two of them. As if the space for that was only created when there were others there, acting as a buffer or whatever.

It wasn’t like they had never hung out together on their own, they just didn't make a habit out of it. And with the way Dex was acting. Nursey was a bit worried, that was all. He didn't want to spend the evening of his birthday examining every move he made. That was exactly the kind of thing he was trying to avoid by not going on a date.

But surely they would be fine. After all, they were best friends now. Kind of. No need to be worried about spending an evening just hanging with a bro. Actually, he felt lucky he got to spend his birthday with one of his best bros, now that he was thinking about it. Yeah, he was sure it would be fine.

As it turned out, he had worked himself up over nothing. Things were going smoothly. They were laying together on his bed, squished together because there was limited space for two large hockey players on the mattress. They were both donned in their comfiest winter wear, but they had thrown blankets over their legs just to feel extra cozy.

Nursey had been melting into the blankets more and more as the movie went on. His head had almost dropped down completely on Dex's shoulders. Something had stopped him from letting it rest there. He didn’t want to think about why that was.

He tried to focus on the movie. But the longer he tried to lay still, the more he realized how stupid that made him feel. He should just let his head lean on Dex's shoulder, it was nothing they hadn't done before.

Dammit, now he was losing his chill for no fucking good reason! He was just going to. There. His head was finally resting comfortably on Dex's shoulder. Dex even shifted his weight a bit, to make it more comfortable for Nursey. This made their bodies sag into the mattress a bit more. Their sides were now pressed together, warm and solid. Dex moved his arm so he could lean into him completely.

No one was saying anything, but Nursey felt like his thoughts would start blasting out of him any minute now, they were so loud.

Looking back, he should have seen this coming. It wasn't like he'd been daydreaming about sweeping Will off his feet and kissing him in the pouring rain. But there had been clues. Maybe he had enjoyed the feel of his soft hair against his shoulder a bit too much during movie night. Maybe there had been a few too many lingering looks exchanged over C's shoulder. Maybe all of that had been going on under the surface, and Nursey realizes he has been firmly not thinking about this - about him - for months now. But pressed together so closely, in the ambient light of the room, it had never been clearer He liked him. Fuck.

 

* * *

 

_YW: Now, we haven't talked about this yet. That is, I'm assuming, because of spoilers. You said this book was mainly about friendship. But there's also a bit of romance in there, can you talk about that a little more?_

_DN: Hah, well it's not a huge spoiler. The book is marketed as a young adult LGBT romance novel. But I mean it when I say that at its core this book is about friendship. Well, it is for me anyway. You can take away from the book what you like, but know that my intent was to inspire feelings of companionship and understanding that only comes from knowing someone as a true friend._

 

* * *

 

In the end, it could have happened in a number of ways. Once the idea was planted in his mind, there was no escaping it. He liked Dex. Will. He liked him and he wanted to do something about it.

Opportunities arose left and right. They spent so much time together it was almost as if they were already dating. They went on walks around the Pond, spent countless hours pressed together on the couch or in Nursey's bed, bought each other drinks at Annie's. It was almost as if they were already dating. Except, they weren't.

Nursey had never felt so simultaneously satisfied and dissatisfied in his entire life. He had Dex alongside him more than he ever had, but he was always just out of reach. They touched, but only like friends did. They were certainly a lot softer around each other than ever before. But it was still not enough. Nursey felt greedy, he want more of him. Of his time. Of his words. He wanted to get drunk on him.

So, looking back, there were many times it could have happened. So many almosts, Nursey was drowning in them. He almost held on a few counts too long that time he hugged Dex after he brought him his favorite tea back from Annie's, after a particularly shitty day. There was the time he almost said fuck it and kissed Dex when they were shot gunning the last of a blunt on the roof. He almost confessed his feelings then and there the day Dex saved a nest of baby birds from falling out of the tree in their backyard.

But he didn't.

Instead, it happened like this.

They were sitting on a bench by the Pond, waiting for Chow to come back from his special date for Caitlin's birthday. He'd been so excited when they helped him plan the trip to the aquarium.

Dex was laughing at something on his phone.

Nursey was biting his nails, thinking about fate and true love. Were these the trees that released the leaves that Chowder and Caitlin landed in? Was that little bed of flowers that Chow had plucked dry for their first date? Over there, was that the- ?

Dex stilled him. “Penny for your thoughts?”. His expression was soft, but wholly focused on Nursey.

“Oh, just thinking about. Love. You know, just Chowder and Farms. How lucky they are.” He smiled. Not entirely convincingly, he could tell.

“Yeah, those two are lucky. I-” Dex sighed. “I'd like to have that too. Someday.” His smile was crooked and a little sad.

Nursey resisted the urge to press his thumbs at the corners of his frowning mouth. He swallowed. “What are you waiting for Dexy?”

Dex paused. ‘I don't know Derek, what am I waiting for?” His eyes had never looked so big and inviting. He was looking at him expectantly.

Nursey was suddenly hyper aware of the way their knees had bumped into each other when they started talking. How Dex had put his phone away and how inviting his hands were now laying on his lap. Palms up, a pending question. He was aware of every single muscle on his face, the slight frown that was forming between his brows. The smile that was threatening to overtake it all.

And –

Oh.

Everything else fell away. Suddenly there was only one thing that mattered.

Soft lips on his own.

The first kiss was short lived, a sweet and fleeting thing.

The second one was a gasp and - desperately - needing him closer.

The third one was closer still, Derek's hands now gently clutching at Will’s face. His world had tilted off its axis. He needed to hold on or, surely, he'd fall off and disappear.

 

* * *

 

_YW: So is any of this based one such a ‘true friend’ of yours? Don’t leave us hanging like this..._

_DN: While the characters are completely my own, I do feel like I've put my feelings in them somehow. My boyfriend inspired much of the love I put in them, if that makes sense. I wouldn't say I love them as much as I love him, because they're not real. Maybe if they were, he'd have some competition. [Nurse’s sparkling laugh once again makes an appearance, the author might be falling in love just a little bit]_

_But in all seriousness, yes there is probably something of him in there. He inspires me every day to be the best version of myself. To be the best writer I can be. He's my lobster [Cue the oohing and aahing you're all surely doing right now.] That’s about all I really want to say, he’s a pretty private person._

_YW: Tell us some more about the romance, why did you decide to write this relationship?_

_DN: I feel like the importance of LGBT romance in literature is often overlooked. Even in recent years, while it’s gotten more traction I feel like it’s still underrepresented in mainstream novels._

_I especially feel the importance for it in young adult literature. It gives kids something to hold on to, but it also gives rounded examples to people who might not have come into contact with that kind of love before. Of course there's not one kind of LGBT relationship, just like there isn't one prototype on how to be in a straight relationship. Which is exactly why there should be more stories._

_That’s why I decided to write this relationship. I felt it was an important story to tell. I also just felt really passionate about these characters. As I said, I really kind of fell in love with them when writing this project. And I hope my readers will too._

_Derek has stopped reading now, his head is spinning with more things to say on the subject. He knows he didn’t get into the importance of YA LGBT lit specifically how he wants to in the interview._

_He gets kind of lost in a little rant, reading it he realizes that he should write his thoughts down on the matter, so he can release more coherent thoughts out in the world in any next interviews. He might even write a sort of essay, he should contact his publicist about that._

_He's scribbling away in his notepad so attentively, before he knows it he's almost reached his destination. Derek checks his phone, there's only five minutes left on his journey. His battery is dying, so he resists the urge to start scrolling on social media. He quickly checks his texts and sees that Chris has sent him about ten pictures of lobsters. His heart is full. It hurts just a little, reminding him how much he misses his friend. He should call him when he gets home._

_He starts putting away his stuff when he realizes he hasn't even completed the interview. Oh well. There’ll be plenty of time when he gets home._

 

* * *

 

“I can't believe you called me your lobster, you sap!” Will grins down at Derek, who had been safely tucked into his side as soon as they left the station. After an embarrassingly smiley kiss and equally embarrassing intense, long hug, of course.

You’d think they hadn’t seen each other in years or something. Instead of what was, in reality, just two weeks. Two hundred and thirty six long hours. Twenty thousand one hundred and sixty excruciating minutes. One million two hundred thous- actually yeah, it felt a little like a year. Certainly way too long to Derek’s tastes. Clearly, if he had time to look all that up.

Derek looks up and flutters his eyelashes. “You know I can't help myself when I talk about you, baby.”

“Admit it, you just wanted to slip a friends reference into you interview.” Will flicks his nose playfully.

“Well, maybe.” It’s hard to miss Will’s eye roll, it was probably visible from space. Derek huffs. “Oh well, you know it's my favorite show.”

Will shakes his head. “It just had to be a lobster, didn't it. My sister's never going to let me live this down.”

“Fair warning, C’s already texted me a bunch of lobster pics earlier so I’m expecting snowfall with a chance of heavy chirping later.” Will groans.

Derek laughs heartily. “Aw look how red you're getting, my little mmph!” Derek is cut off when Will puts his hand over Derek's mouth. He looks up in betrayal.

“Hush you.” Will pokes Derek in the ribs, fruitlessly trying to tickle him through his thick winter coat. Eventually he gives up and slings his arm back over Derek’s shoulders. He pulls him tight against his side and kisses his temple. Derek aches with how much he's missed him. He lets his head fall on Will's shoulders, which makes walking significantly more of a challenge. He doesn’t care one bit.

Will joins his other arm up to his shoulder, encircling Derek's body. “Hey,” he whispers into Derek’s hair.

Derek turns his head and smiles into a kiss. “Hey back. I've missed you.” Another kiss, more hungry this time. They have to stop moving to prevent themselves from walking straight into traffic.

“Missed you too. You have no idea.” Will rubs his cold nose against Derek's cheek. “I'm so proud of you. The book's doing so well, the interview was great. Have I told you how proud I am yet?”

Derek’s smile is a broad, indulgent thing. “Several times. But I could stand to hear it some more.” He grins up at Will, this earns him another kiss.

“Well at the risk of inflating your ego to truly ginormous proportions.” He releases his hold on Derek's shoulders and takes his face in his hand. Punctuating each word with a kiss he says. “I.” His lips. “Am.” His cheeks. “So.” The space between his brows. “Proud.” His eyelids. “Of.” His jaw. “You.” The last one, longer and sweeter than the rest, on his lips. Derek lets himself be swallowed whole and pulls Will closer, joining his hands at the nape of his neck.

“C'mon,” Will says, finishing the kiss with one last peck, “let's go home.”

 

* * *

 

Will's keys clink when they hit the bowl. Derek assumes they do anyway, he's a little busy trying to remove Will's scarf. The sooner he can press kisses into his skin, the better. He isn't doing a very good job, but that might be because he refuses to let go of Will's hand. This makes any movement a little hard, but he doesn't care. Will meanwhile, is struggling to get his own coat off. Once it gets stuck down his hand, he has to let go of Derek's hand. He wasted no time using this newfound freedom to yank Will's scarf off.

Will turn around and uses his finger to lift Derek's chin up into a kiss. He smiles into it. He puts his hand on both sides of Will's face, stroking his jaw lightly with his thumbs. Amber eyes stare into his. He’s so close, the only thing he can see are the little laugh lines around Will’s eyes.

He kisses him once, twice and rest his forehead against Will's. Their staring doesn't last long, Will moves in to kiss him again. He opens his mouth and allows Will to drink him in. From there it’s all mouths and lips and never – ever – enough . Derek moves his hands to tug at Will's hair, using the movement to press his body against Will’s. He feels Will’s chest heave slightly against his, a gentle sigh passing through him. They kiss languidly for a while. Time loses meaning.

Will is trying to snake his hand between their bodies to undo the zipper on Derek's jacket. After a few furtive attempts, Derek takes pity on him and allows him to move back a bit. Soon Will is taking off his clothing, one by one. His hat flies on the couch. Will moves to carefully put his bag against the dresser because, "We don't just throw our laptops on the floor Derek, no matter how rich and famous we become".

He doesn't have to pout long, soon Will is in front him again. He starts a trail of kisses along his jaw, stopping at the point where his ears meets his neck. As Will struggles to get his coat off him, he sucks hard at the pressure point. A quiet moan escapes from Will's throat. He laughs breathily.

“Derek. Babe. Unless you want to stand here for the next few hours, you're going to have to let me take this off at some point.”

Derek bites lightly at the spot, eliciting another moan from Will, before answering, "That sounds like a you problem."

Will doesn’t have to look pitiful very long before he gives in and lets his jacket fall from his body. It pools around his feet. He has to step over it to lead Will to their couch.

Nobody is surprised when he stumbles a little bit. As always, Will is there to catch him. He continues to push him in the direction of the couch, undeterred by his own clumsiness. Will's hand is pressed against his chest, solid and warm, to prevent him from falling over, he’s guessing. He takes it in his free hand and intertwines their fingers.

He pushes forward, reaching up to carry on kissing Will while they’re walking. The momentum causes them to fall over each other on the couch. Derek, solidly pressed all over Will, starts chuckling. His hand is still clutching Will’s. He lets his head drop on Will’s chest. It allows him to breathe him in. Will smells clean, like soap, with a hint of smokiness. It’s intoxicating.

“Fuck, sorry. I’m so clumsy.” His voice is muffled through Will’s shirt.

Will’s hand comes up to brush his curls from his forehead. “Well if someone hadn’t been so eager to get us here, maybe we could’ve done it a little more smoothly.” He continues to touch Derek anywhere he can reach with feather light strokes, “If this was somehow news to me, I would be the biggest idiot in the world.” He raises himself up on his elbow, causing Derek to roll off him a little.

He picks his head up and squints up at Will. The sun is almost setting, casting the whole room in a golden glow. Will looks radiant. “Who says you aren’t?”

Will sticks his tongue out and nudges him in the side. “You don’t exactly have the upper hand here, babe.” He sits up even further, allowing his leg to dangle to the floor. “Let me just set the mood a bit.”

Will gets up, while he continues to spread out on the couch. He’s surprised when Will pulls out his favorite Nat King Cole record and starts lighting candles around the room.

“Are you -? Wow, can’t believe I’m getting the five star treatment. Now who’s being corny? I should write novels more often.”

Will can tell he’s flustered and answers in earnest, refusing to match Derek’s sarcastic tone. “What? I want to treat my man. I want to show you how proud I am of you.”

Derek smirks, “Yeah, you want to come show me how proud you are over here?”

“Patience, I have to light these candles first. Why don’t you get a little more comfortable for me over there?”

Derek wastes no time in chucking off his jeans and top layers. He leaves his boxers on, so Will might take them off him later. In the background, Nat is singing his praises to his darling.

When Will comes back, he promptly sits himself down in his lap. He stretches up to kiss him some more. Derek’s hands sneak under his sweater, letting them roam over Will’s chest.

He needs him closer. Now. “Take this off,” he demands, almost growling.

Will huffs but complies easily. Their hands continue to explore each other’s bodies. Will’s body hulking over him feels intoxicating. Derek starts to get hard and a little uncomfortable in his boxers. He feels Will press into him as well. He thrusts up, seeking some friction. Will breaks the kiss and licks his lips. They look red and swollen. Will notices him looking and bites them, smirking at him. Derek is pulling apart at the seams.

Will slides off, taking a pillow to sit between Derek’s legs. He teases him, rubbing his thighs and palming at his cock over his boxers. He leaves kisses up and down his thighs, nosing at his boxers.

“Babe, I... I thought this was supposed to be a present?” Will playfully bites into his thigh in retaliation. “Ah!” Derek can’t help but beg, he’s so turned on. “Please, Will. Do something, please.”

Will finally – finally – takes his cock out and makes Derek slide his boxers down. He’s not done teasing Derek just yet, because he takes his sweet time jerking Derek off slowly, before he takes him into his mouth.

He knows what Derek likes, getting him nice and wet before bobbing his head up and down. He takes him deep into his mouth a couple of times before he slides it out of his mouth, it comes off his lips with a wet pop. Will grins up at Derek.

How gorgeous he looks on his knees before him, with the soft glow of the light streaming in through the windows and candles casting him golden. Derek is overwhelmed by the beauty of the moment.

Will licks at the underside of his cock, teasing his balls a little. He takes him into his mouth again, sucking at his head. The sounds he makes are sloppy and wet, Derek is unbelievably turned on. Will allows Derek to put his hands into his hair, letting him decide the tempo. Will moans deep in his throat and it goes straight to Derek’s cock.

The room smells of sex and driftwood scented candles. Nat King Cole sings about forever. Derek is overwhelmed by sensations. Will’s soft strands of hairs between his fingers, the press of Will’s shoulders between his thighs, Will is gripping his legs, anchoring himself to Derek. His motions cause Will to leave crescent-moon shaped indentations all over his thighs.

The build-up of two weeks without his touch, two weeks without his presence, Will’s unrelenting working over of his cock, licking and sucking it like it’s his job. It’s all starting to be overpowering. Pleasure pools in his belly.

Will starts jerking him off with precise and practiced motions, while continuing to suck him off. The pleasure keeps building, threatening to rush out of him. Derek tugs at Will’s hair, warning him he’s about to come. Will’s resulting moan causes him to spill into his mouth with a hoarse moan. Will continues to coax the pleasure out of him until the wet warmth of his mouth becomes too much and Derek has to gently push him off. His mouth feels dry. Will grins up at him, wiping his mouth.

After Derek’s legs have turned solid again, he hauls Will up and lies him down on the couch. He starts to kiss him within an inch of his life. He tastes himself on Will’s tongue. He’s lying down on top of him, hands all over him. They run over every ridge and curve of his body. Will clutches at his back, sliding eager hands down to paw at his ass.

Derek worms his hand between them to start undoing the buttons on Will’s pants, he growls into his mouth “Can’t believe how much you’re still wearing.” The material of Will’s jeans is rubbing against his sensitive cock. He shivers.

Will hooks his arm around Derek’s back while using his elbow to haul himself up, resulting in Derek almost losing his balance. He has to plant an arm above Will’s head to steady himself, he lifts his hips so he can finally start to strip Will’s pants off him. The progress is slow and arduous, their muscles are straining to keep them in position. Derek feels sweat sticking his hair to the back of his neck. His muscles groan. But eventually, Derek manages to yank Will’s pants down far enough that he can kick them off. He manages to yank down his jeans and underwear at the same time. So, bonus points for him.

He collapses onto Will’s chest, slotting their legs together. It’s miles and miles of skin pressed together in a delicious tangle of limbs.

“Wow. That was unnecessarily complicated,” Will says, his tone teasing.

If he can still tease him, then he’s not doing his job right. Derek grinds down, pressing their dicks together and smirks “Worth it, though.”

Derek licks down Will’s throat, pressing him down hard into the couch. He marks his way down Will’s chest before his hands desperately clutch at his shoulders to pull him closer again. Derek drinks him in. He feels insatiable.

They lose themselves in the tango of pressing and pulling.

Will’s hand are kneading the flesh of his ass, fingers slowly inching closer to the center. Derek looks up at Will. Look into his eyes, burning with want. He grins. “You want to?” Will blushes the prettiest shade of pink, something Derek will never tire of. He kisses him softly.

Will looks wrecked. He nods.

He stretches up, grinding his ass down on Will. Will’s hands come up to his sides, eyes widening. Derek feels his hardening dick press up against his ass.

He looks around. “Hmm, not here. I’ll let you fuck me into our nice, expensive mattress, though. As nice as all this is,” he pauses and adds, winking, “I’ve got standards.”

Will has to clear his throat before he can speak. His chest is flushed with desire. “I want you like his.” He squeezes Derek’s hips, clarifying his point.

Derek leans down again. He tries to smooth out some of Will’s hair down. He had his hands in it earlier and now it’s standing up in all directions. He looks wild. “Yeah, baby. Whatever you want.” He swings his legs off the couch and tugs at his hand. “C’mon, let’s go.”

Derek lets Will finger him while he’s on all fours on the bed. Will’s taking his sweet time. Presumably, to calm himself down a bit. He looked like he was about five seconds from coming untouched earlier. Derek squeezes his own cock, pleasure is slowly starting to do its sweet dance inside him again.

He looks over his shoulder, “I feel – Ah.” He has to moan when Will hits a particularly pleasurable spot. “I’m ready babe. Please.”

Will kisses his shoulder. “Alright, just making sure you’re all set. Plus, I’m enjoying the view.” He presses a wet kiss between Derek’s shoulder blades and turns him around.

Before Derek knows it, he’s put on protection and slicked himself up. Derek hovers above him, spread open over Will’s lap. Just like he asked. He lowers himself slowly, until the blunt head of Will’s dick presses against his hole. He’s fully prepared but he still enjoys taking it slow. Desire runs up and down his spine.

Will gazes up at him lovingly. His hands are back at his hips, helping him hold himself up so he can take all the time he needs. Will’s thumbs are rubbing slow circles into his skin. Time stands still. When his dick finally starts sliding into Derek, he squeezes his eyes shut. A look of pure pleasure passes over his face.

Derek puts his hands on Will’s chest to reposition himself. Once he’s settled, he starts to slowly ride him. The heat is rising. Flames lick at him wherever Will is touching him. The room is on fire.

Will can’t hold himself back for long and he matches up the thrust of his hips to Derek’s rise and fall. Once they find their rhythm, all that’s left is gasps and moans.

Will takes Derek’s cock in his hand, jerking him off to the pace of his thrusts. It isn’t long before Derek spills all over Will’s hand. The release isn’t an explosion, but a slow burst of pleasure. Flowers opening under morning’s first light. A stray drop of come makes it up to Will’s chest. He reaches over to lick it off. He tastes the bitter tang of come mixed with the saltiness of Will’s sweat.

Will wiggles his hand from between them and takes hold of Derek’s shoulder to keep him in place. This new position allows him to bend his knees. Planting his feet firmly on the bed, he thrusts up into Derek. Every thrust makes his oversensitive cock rub against Will’s abs. But he’s still riding the wave between pain and pleasure, so he doesn’t move away yet.  
Eventually, Derek lifts himself up on his elbows slightly to allow Will better access. He plants kisses all along his chest, pausing to suck at Will’s nipples. The thrusts turn erratic. When Will finally finishes in him, his mouth opens in a silent shout.

 

* * *

 

Afterwards, in the quiet space between bliss and revival, Will is lying on his back with Derek on top of him. He's drawing circles in the dip of his back, tickling Derek a little bit. But not enough to make him stop. He's idly tracing some patterns into Will's skin.

This, he doesn't need to write down. He's mapped this body, done hours of exploration on it. He's done the work. He knows it better than his own. He knows this man about as well as you can know anybody. No, he doesn't need to write this down. What comes after, maybe. But this moment is theirs. He presses a dry kiss into the center of Will's chest and rolls off him.

“Where you going, babe?”

“Shhh. Hold on, just have to get something out of my bag.”

“Inspiration has struck again, huh?”

He hears the smirk in Will's voice, but he doesn't respond to it. Instead, he hoists himself up and pads over to his bag. He ruffles around in the front pocket, he’s sure he put it here –

Ah. There.

He turns around. He locks eyes with Will.

“What are you-?” Will's abs look downright criminal as he rights himself. Derek swallows.

Will's eyes follow him all the way back to their bed. He positions himself across from him and starts speaking. In the end, it's not some big speech he spent hours crafting to make it sounds perfect. In the end, all that’s left is the truth.

“Will, you're the best thing in my life. I love you. Will you marry me?”

Will looks dazed for a few seconds before flushing as red as Derek has ever seen him. “Yes.” He covers his mouth, but his smile is so vibrant is shines through anyway. “I. Yes. Oh my -. Yes.” He crawls over, looking every bit as excited as Derek feels. “Yes.” Will slots his lips over Derek’s, pressing himself against Derek. Derek feels there’s no air in the world left but the air they’re breathing right now. He smiles. In this moment he is completely, utterly happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Go home and go big - Derek Nurse 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this, feel free to leave kudos or a comment I appreciate it so much!
> 
> Happy holidays everyone, see you in 2018 :)


End file.
